scourgesister:

GODDAMN
YOU STOLE THE WORKING TITLE I HAD BEEN THINKING RIGHT FROM UNDER MY NOSE
PERFECTION IN ONE SENTENCE ROSE
THAT IS THE NAME OF OUR COMPANY
“FOLD OF MULTILINGUAL ASSHOLES”
OR FOMA FOR SHORT
EXCEPT OUR VAN WILL BE SPLASHED BRIGHT RED AND IT WILL SAY SOMETHING ABOUT JESUS AND PINEAPPLES ON THE HINGED DOORS
ALSO WE WILL ALLOW DRIFTERS TO PAY RENT AND LIVE IN IT IF THEY TELL GOOD STORIES

I SUPPOSE I UNINTENTIONALLY ANSWERED YOUR COLOR QUESTION THERE >:]

ACTUALLY NO I AM NO LONGER LIVING IN CANADA
I MOVED WHEN I WAS ABOUT EIGHT WITH MY PARENTS BECAUSE THEY WANTED TO GIVE ME BETTER SCHOOL OPPORTUNITIES FOR WHEN I GOT OLDER
ALTHOUGH IF YOU AND I ARE ROUGHLY THE SAME AGE WE CAN SALVAGE OUR HALLMARK MOMENT
JUST YOU WAIT

YOU BEAT ME
I AM DEAD
THE EIFFEL MEOWER HAS EFFECTIVELY KILLED ME
BRAVO LALONDE
I COULD NOT HAVE SAID IT BETTER MYSELF

Fortunately, even my callous theft can only have but so many repercussions, since I was planning on hiring you in any case.  Observe the mercy shown so soon after this cruel robbery!  Surely a redeeming characteristic.

I’ll have to trust you with regards to requisitioning this van.  Will we hire a similarly snarky chauffeur to drive us from locale to locale, where we’ll pick up the language from credulous natives while summarily mocking them with another different language.  It’s practically a foolproof business model.

Bright red it is.  Is that your favorite color, too?

Ah, I see.  Where are you now, if you don’t mind me asking?  Also, if you’re anywhere near eighteen, then yes, I think we can classify the hallmark moment retroactively successful.  Then again, either way, it’s unlikely we would have done any more than simply crossed paths or seen each other across the street.

Shall I take a bow?  I’m both shameful and proud of that one, actually.